Are We Still Talking?

So, how are we doing? It’s been more than 6 months since, you know, things changed around here. Ok, the election, I’m talking about the election. So…how are things?
No really, how are you doing?
I know, it’s awkward to talk about sometimes. I’ll start. It’s been rough. It’s been an emotional roller coaster. It’s been heartbreaking. It’s been encouraging. It’s been terrifying. I’m feeling it all these days. Look, the election didn’t work out the way I had hoped but everything I feel has nothing to do with not getting what I wanted. I am feeling all of these things because I’m trying to reconcile that this is what a lot of people wanted. A lot of people still want this – all of this – all of what is happening right now. Maybe you do. I don’t. It’s not about one person or one administration. It’s about all of us, the human race, on this planet, in this moment.
It’s not going well.
I feel sad. Life is hard, so very hard, without the fear of nuclear war or of being deported or of being murdered or attacked because of who you love or worship or what you look like or WHO YOU ARE.
I’ve talked to people who have felt forced to cut family members out of their lives. I’ve heard from people who can’t forgive their parents for voting to take away their right to be treated as an equal human being. Not just “can’t forgive.” Can’t stop crying. Can’t understand how or why. Can’t foresee ever being part of their lives again. Can’t find a way to not feel broken.
We can’t have it both ways.
You can’t hate me and invite me to dinner. Can you? Can I? Is everyone really welcome at my table? No. Not right now.
But. But.
That doesn’t mean we can’t get coffee. I think I would be okay with coffee now. Maybe not sit down coffee. Maybe walk around and talk coffee.
Here’s the thing. We are damaged. We are broken. We are scared. We need each other. We need to understand each other.
We need to love each other.
I don’t mean holding hands and singing kumbaya. I don’t mean taking each other to church or temple. I don’t mean going to marches or rallies together.
I mean feeding each other.
Clothing each other.
Protecting each other.
Inviting each other for the holidays and talking about nothing by sports.
Forgiving each other when we say no, we are staying home, we are not ready.
Acknowledging that we are family, we are human, we matter.
We need to love each other through this or we’re not going to make it.
We are divided about who should live and who should die.
We might not make it.
Have I mentioned I’m not good at spreading hope? I’m better at talking about how terrible everything is and then sending you on your way.
I wanted to write about this not to cause division, not to make everyone uncomfortable, but rather to just acknowledge that things – the world, life, people, relationships – are really hard and confusing right now. You’re not alone. We’re not alone. I’m looking for hope and I’m hoping for healing. We have to keep the conversation open. Even if there are tears. Even if we need to take a break. Even if one of us storms out of the room from time to time.
We don’t have to agree.
Are we still talking? Yes? Good.
So…how are you doing?



  1. Judy on August 11, 2017 at 8:00 pm

    Yes to all of that … might want to have a lid on that cup of coffee just in case the discussion goes in a different direction than you expect. We can talk whenever you want, just won’t be able to solve all, or more likely, any of the problems on your mind.

    • Courtney A. Casto on August 12, 2017 at 12:22 pm

      It’s okay if we all aren’t ready for coffee yet but a lid is probably a good idea! 🙂

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